Sadness

Sadness is like a virus, it keeps eating your brain even you don't want to.

I don't want to, but why am i sad??

:(

The second button.

Yesterday when I was going to a friends house preparing myself, and try to wear my favorite polo shirt, I just notice that the second button from the top was missing. Well for us Filipinos it was nothing, but recently I was watching Japanese series, and I notice that there was this scenes that this young Japanese guy wearing a uniform was giving the second button from the top to the girl he likes in school.

Well when I Google it they do this before their High school lives end, in short word "Graduation".
Why is it the second button from the top not from the top itself or below? Well for me I think because it is nearest to the heart, and before the school ends, the girl must know that you like her or care for her.

I'm beginning to stop and think, that someday, somehow another girl will find my second button that I lost that day..

Issue 101

Recently in the Philippines there are issues regarding racism. That is because one Korean actress Ms. Lee Da Hae commented and seems like making fun on the accents of Filipino teachers. Most of us Pinoys reacted too much on that issue, lets ask Mr. Webster whats the meaning of RACISM. :D

rac·ism noun \ˈrā-ˌsi-zəm also -ˌshi-\

Definition of RACISM

1

: a belief that race is the primary determinant of human traits and capacities and that racial differences produce an inherent superiority of a particular race

2

: racial prejudice or discrimination

— rac·ist \-sist also -shist\ noun or adjective

Before we react violently on what Ms. Lee Da Hae said on that television show, lets look ourselves in the mirror first. Most Asian people are racist including Filipinos, and thats the sad truth.

FACTS :

Remember our parents told us when we are young that we will sold to the Bumbays if we become naughty?

Most of us Tagalog speaking people laughed when we heard a Visayan speaks our dialect. And that is because of the accent.

Why is it we are so stereotype regarding Visayans are mostly katulong, that Ilocanos are kuripot or maitim, Pampangos are mayayabang?

Sad to say that most of us calling our brothers in central Luzon "Ita" the ones who has dark skinned and curly hair.

Many of us Filipinos calling Black people "Egoy" when the politically correct term is African American.

Cute without an E

Going to Korean BBQ after assembly

Group pics

CUTE w/o an E

Reality bites.

Did anyone of you have felt what really a "reality bite" is??

Remember the girl I was talking about? The girl that move to a different city with her family? Well I told her before that I like her and I want to know her more, and I told her that I want to keep my friendship with her and hoping that things will not change. And i told her its ok if you don't like me back.

Her answer?? "why me?? there are a lot of girls who will make you happy." And after that conversation we still chat to each other with no strings attach just like before.

But suddenly this "like thingy" topic was brought out again recently, oh man! this is the second time that i told her that I like her, and my heart was like a drum beat just like the first time! And still her reaction was the same as before.

Well did you feel it??

Pilipino ka, sabihin mo!

Sa ating makabagong panahon lahat ay nagbabago, maging sa pananamit, libangan, kultura, at pati na rin ang ating wika. Nakakalungkot nga lang minsan nakakalimutan na rin natin na tayo ay isang Pilipino. Lalo na dito sa Amerika na kadalasan ng mga kabataang Pilipino ay pinalaki sa kultura ng mga taga kanluran.

Kaya tayo bilang isang Pilipino huwag na huwag natin kalilimutan na tayo ay Pilipino. At pag nangyari na tayo ay makakalimot sa ating pinagmulan, masahol pa tayo sa isang malansang isda.
Kaya bilang handog sa kakatapos na buwan ng wika, ako ay nag paskil ng isang tagalog na sulat dito sa aking blog, upang ipaalam sa mga nakakabasa na ipinagmamalaki ko na ako ay isang PILIPINO!

p.s. medyo nahuli na ang post ko last august pa ang buwan ng wikang pilipino, pero may kasabihan sa wikang tagalog na "Huli man daw at magaling, naihahabol din."

Soundtrip

Recently I'm trying to find the song that touch our hearts, and I remember the old days when I was just an ordinary college student having a sound trip while studying Nursing. And then the song pops up in my mind, Harlem Yu - Qing Fei De Yi the OST from Meteor Garden. :D

Unforgettable speech.

I heard this speech on the Proposal Daisakusen, my most favorite series of all time. Why?? because i can see myself like the leading man in this series, like him i cant really say what i like to say in front of the the girl that i like.

This speech happens in the last part of the series, when her best friend Rei are getting married to another man.

Tada-san, Rei san,
Congratulations on your wedding.
Ever since elementary school, I've been with Rei-san, and we spent most of our school days together.
Yesterday when I opened and looked at our elementary school graduation yearbook, on the column "Your future dream" she had written " I want to be a cute bride".
Well at the moment, Whether she is cute or not... there is a lot of doubt in that...
(Tsuru interrupts: SHE IS REALLY CUTE!!
Reprimanded by Mikio: You're butting in!)
In any case, her wish since she was little came true, as her friend, I really am happy for her.
*loong silence*
I know this is inexcusable towards Tada-san... but...
I have been thinking... that if she could, Rei should give up this wedding.
I've been thinking... I want to take Rei away.
(Tsuru: OI! Your Too drunk!)
For 14 years,
during happy times, during difficult times, during times of suffering,
the one who always spent time with Rei,
the one who would be able to make her happy,
I seriously thought that I am the only one who could do that.
If there are things that did not go well the Rei who would get sulky right away...
if the cleaning and work got sabotaged, the Rei who would get mad,
The Rei who had obstinatly, never been honest with herself,
the one who knows her best is me.
She shows that she is a strong person, but actually she is an extremely sensitive person,
who always puts herself second, who always puts her friends first, the one who washed our uniforms as manager, and the Rei who has skills unparalleled...
who has always just... been beside me...
the one who knows her best is me.
But in the end, these are just thoughts inside my heart,
because not once have I been able to become honest about it in front of her.
Though I always have been near her, the words I thought I would say someday,
I haven't been able to say it after all.
That one thing... never did I say it.
I... I... was in love with Rei.
Honestly, if i say so, even now, I am still in love with Rei...
But, Rei, is getting married to Tada-san today.
Though its excruciating for me, she will get married.
Because her place in my heart is so vast,
the struggle for me to arrive at these words has taken an extreme amount of time.
Rei. Congratulations on your wedding.
Please become happy...
...
If you don't become happy...
If you don't become happy... I really wont forgive that.

:(

You are my target.

Did someone of you have an experience of a sudden rush of fear beginning to eat up your brain, and then you laugh about it because you realize you're only too paranoid?? Well I experienced that earlier when I was in my school in Pasadena.

There was this guy in school, an Arabic guy studying for USMLE step 1 I usually saw him and his girlfriend on my school walking around or studying. Then suddenly he approach me and ask something..

Arabic guy: Where are you from??

Me: I'm from Philippines.

Arabic Guy: You are my target.

Me: *afraid* huh?? what??

Arabic Guy: ahh what i mean you are the right person that I'm looking for to ask about immigration laws, here in the US.

Me: ok..*sigh of relief*

Whew! that guy gave me fright, i thought I'm the new target of an terrorist organization! Im just only paranoid lol!:D

Day 1 without you.

She and her family finally moved to another city. I don't want to say a lot of goodbyes to her because it makes me feel more sad, I don't want to delay my misery anymore. Since we first get along together last 2 months ago, I didn't expect to much, I always think that someday she will leave me. And when her mom told us that they will be moving soon, I felt a little sad, just a little. I learned my lesson well " The more you expect the more you invite hurt and disappointments."

And now shes gone, life must still go on.

Light up the darkness

Bob Marley had this idea. It was kind of a virologist idea. He believed that you could cure racism and hate... literally cure it, by injecting music and love into people's lives. When he was scheduled to perform at a peace rally, a gunman came to his house and shot him down. Two days later he walked out on that stage and sang. When they asked him why - He said, "The people, who were trying to make this world worse... are not taking a day off. How can I? Light up the darkness."

Milky Way

Milky Way

Telescoping is what i do when I am here,
shooting up to the stratosphere and then..
Discovering that I do own the universe,
plus the promise and the curse with it.

In another world, in another place.
Spinning over in my mind,
the universe I find is mine.

I drown inside inside the Milky Way,
which I created in a day.
Turning in my head like yo-yo in a thread.

Everything those spinning cause,
like Venus, Mars with mending force.
Happening in my mind,
just like the force that binds.

Because the universe is mine.

Photon finding is part of all the mystery,
draining out our batteries.
Whats the meaning of all the pains and misery??
choking up our energy's and blood.

In another world, in another place.
Floating like I'm inside
In the ever sea outside is clear.

I dwell inside the Milky Way,
which I created in a day.
Turning in my head yo-yo in thread.

Coz everything the spinning cause,
like Venus, Mars with mending force.
Flowing in my mind just like the force that bind.

Because the universe is mine.

No more searching for answers in outer space,
everything is in a place today.
Quantum leaping happens in the inner brain,
the memories just go insane and pain

In another world, in another place.
playing hidden in those nerves,
is our time, space that curves and bends.

And everything will be fine..

After my ex girlfriend and I broke up 3 years ago I used to tell myself that everything will be fine. But sometimes i keep remembering her whether i like or not, she's just like a pop up virus in computer that keeps on popping even if you close it. I don't know what kind of spell that she gave to me.

But now i finally realized that i don't need her, just like she don't need me when we are still together. And now everything will be fine...:D

How To Save The World

"even an ordinary man can become a superman"

Time will tell

Its sad when you beginning to know and like someone, then suddenly she will leave you by moving out somewhere. Its hard to think that someday she will forget me, I know I'm beginning to become too emo right now but this how i feel. But I'm trying to think the bright side of things, that maybe she will not forget me, maybe. I know I have a part in her life even though its not deep down in her heart and soul, I know someday she will come back, Someday.

Just past few hours ago I'm just looking in her eyes staring blankly, and thinking and hoping that someday she will know that someone is right here for her. The question is how will she know that I'm just right here for her?? whew i guess time will tell..

Whos Gonna Win???

Hopefully lakers will win hahahhahahahhha!

Storya (part 5)

Heto na!! Heto na!!

Hindi pa din kami nagkikibuan magmula nung lumipat sya, ayoko itxt o tawagan man lang at ganun din sya PATIGASAN ang labanan, ayoko magparamdam sa kanya para man lang ipakita ko sa kanya na may konti pa din ako dignidad na natitira sa sarili kahit wala na dahil mahal ko sya. Pride. Iyan ang gusto ko palabasin sa kanya dahil para bang inaabuso nya na ang kabaitan ko sa kanya, kahit wala namng mailalabas na.

Tapos minsan duty ko sa hospital nmin, 2 to 10 ang schedule sa ER kaya tambay mode lang muna. walang mga pasyente ang nakikita ko lang eh yung doctor na saksakan ng sungit, kaya nmn pala walang asawa, medyo terror sa ER kaya sindak kami ng mga ka groupmate ko. So samadaling sabi walang magawa ang tanging ginagawa lang nmin nung oras na yun eh huntahan sa isang kwarto doon.

Biglang nilapitan ako ng ka group kong lalaki na saksakan ng yabang at saksakan ng ingit sakin sa tingin ko dahil wala syang alam payabangan kung hindi ako. Sya yung lalaki kong ka groupmate na nangulit sakin dun sa part 1 ng Storya. Sa palagay ko unti unti na syang naasar sakin magmula noon sa hindi ko malamng dahilan. Tapos biglang sabi nya sakin:

Groupmate: Tol kamusta si pearl??

Ako: Ayun ok lang nmn..

Groupmate: Balita ko nakalipat na sya ah..

Ako: Oo nga eh..(sa loob loob ko hataw updated aah)

Groupmate: Nagpunta nga yung isang barkada ko dun natulog..

Ako: *speechless*

-end-

Wala akong ibang naramdamn noong panahon na yun kundi inis at galit dun sa ka groupmate ko, gusto ko na sapakin nung mga oras na yun kung wla lang sa ER eh, nasabi ko na lang sa sarili ko: Ano kayang gustong palabasin nitong hayop na toh! parang nakakalalaki eh! badtrip talaga!

Kung hindi pa kayo nakakaranas kumulo ang dugo ng literal, eh ako naranasan ko na nung mga oras na yun! Hindi ko alam kung gusto ko txt oh tawagan bigla sya nun, feeling ko ako may kasalanan kasi ilang linggo ko na sya hindi tinatawagn oh txt man lang.

Kaya bago mag uwian naisipan ko na syang i txt, dahil sobrang gusto ko na siya bigla makita, siguro na feel ko bigla na kailangan ko sya makausap dahil baka mawala na lang sya sakin ng hindi ko namamalayan. Ako na nag sorry sa ginawa ko kahit na hindi ko kailangan mag sorry, nilunok ko na lang uilt pride ko kahit na hindi kailangan, Tinangap ko nalng kahit hindi dapat tangapin, wla nmn mawawala kung paminsan minsan gagawin ko toh sabi ko na lang sa sarili ko.

Noong gabi na yun nag reply sya sa txt ko sabi nya puntahan nya ako sa ER, natuwa nmn ako dahil makakasama ko na sya. Pag ka kita ko sa kanya sa labas ng ER bigla nya ako yakap ng mahigpit at sinabi na na miss nya ako, ako din nmn gnun napayakap na din sa kanya nasabi ko na lang sa sarili ko.."sana laging ganito":)

Ang Kwarto.

Hindi rin naman nagtagal ang tampuhan na yun, kumbaga sa tampuhan tampung kulangot lang yun, pero napaisip na rin ako na sana hindi magtagal ang ganitong mga tampuhan.. Sa madaling sabi nakapunta rin ako sa Taguig doon sa appartment nya, dahil hindi naman lahat ng pagkakataon lagi na lang delubyo dba?? So kahit papaano nagkakaroon din manakanakang Taginit! Maayos na ang lahat, may kama, dining table, refrigerator, baso, kutsara, tinidor etc.. sa madaling sabi kumpleto na. Kung ihahalintulad mo sa mga dorm parang bed spacing room lang yung laki, pero solo namn nya may sariling banyo kaya kahit papaano may privacy. Kakilala nmn ng mommy nya yung landlady kaya hindi na rin ako nagaalala, tapos may taga check pa sa kanya na lalaki na kumpare nmn ng mom nya kaya naisip ko safe nmn sya dun, kahit papaano..

Bahay Bahayan!

Minsan naisipan kong dumalaw at dun mag lunch ayos!! para lang kaming nag Babahay Bahayan. Nagluluto sya ng lunch, Hotdog.. prito ang gusto nya ayaw nya ng New York Style na hotdog na laga, pangit daw ang lasa parang masuka suka daw sya hehe! kasi minsan ginawa na rin ng katulong nya yung ganoong style ppero masagwa daw talaga ang lasa. At ako naman taga bili ng 1.5 liters na Coke ako taya syempre para naman masarap ang kainan.

At sa sobrang init ng katanghalian sa Taguig eh halos matuyuan ako ng lalamunan kaya panay inom ng tubig, kaya siguro ganun.. dahil minsan wala magawa, eh panay guitara lang ako sa bahay nya na tinutugtog ang mga Beatles song sa songhits na dala ko. Kaya kahit medyo maliit, masikip, mainit ok nmn dahil contento ka sa nangyayari. jamming, chill at syempre kasama ko sya:)

Minsan sa sobrang tagal ko nakatambay dun sa bahay bahayan eh nalalate rin ako sa skewela, lahat ata ng uri ng transportasyon eh sasakyan mo papunta dun eh kulang na lang eroplano at bapor. Mula samin saksakay ka ng jeepney baba ka sa GMA Kamuning, tapos sakay ka ng ng MRT papunta Guadalupe station, tapos sakay ka ulit jeepney baba ka sa malapit sa Libingan ng mga bayani, tapos trycycle ayun na andun ka na pwede rin ata pedicab, at kariton kung gusto mo makiangkas sa mga magbobote na nagdadaan dun hehe!

To be continued:D

......

Going home...

At last my long rest on blogging is over hehehe! well this is what im doing lately..

Gusto

Gusto


Gusto ko bughaw, Gusto mo pula at dilaw.
Gusto ko kahit kay liit, Gusto mo ng nakakahigit.
Gusto ko bilog, Gusto mo laging tatsulok.
Gusto ko kahit magaspang, Gusto mo madalas makinang.

Ayaw mo sa gusto ko, gusto ko sa ayaw mo
Ikaw ay hindi ako ako ay hindi sa iyo

Gusto ko dalawa, Gusto mo tatlo apat lima.
Gusto ko kahitpa bulong, Gusto mo ng dumadagundong.
Gusto ko buhangin, Gusto mo maging bituin.
Gusto ko isang basong tubig, Gusto mo buong daigdig.

Ayaw mo sa gusto ko, gusto ko sa ayaw mo
Ikaw ay hindi ako ako ay hindi sa iyo.

Gusto kong lumipad
Gusto mong tumakbo't maglakad
Gusto kong matutong lumangoy
Gusto mong maglaro ng apoy

Ayaw mo sa gusto ko, gusto ko sa ayaw mo
Ikaw ay hindi ako ako ay hindi sa iyo

Gusto mo umaraw na naman
Gusto ko konting liwanag
Gusto mo buong magdamag
Gusto ko dito gusto mo doon sa dulo
Gusto ko ngayon gusto mo nagdaang kahapon

Ayaw mo sa gusto ko, gusto ko sa ayaw mo
Ikaw ay hindi ako ako ay hindi sa iyo.